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Manowar Secedes From United States Over Obama’s “False Metal Agenda”
Into Guam Ride In a stunning, utterly asinine move, legendary metal band Manowar, frustrated with the false metal policies of the Obama administration, seceded from the United States this morning....
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Hipster Terrorists Taken Into Custody After Attempted Hijacking Of 70,000...
Hipster Terrorist During The Attack On The Ship In an event that has raised international tensions between hipsters and metalheads, a crew of bearded, shaggy hipsters attempted to set hijack the 70,000...
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MTV to Manowar: “We’re Sorry About All The False Metal”
In an unexpected move, MTV and their parent company Viacom today issued an apology to the metal band Manowar for what they referred to as “crimes against true heavy metal”. Kurt Jamerson, MTV’s Vice...
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Manowar Uses Drone Strikes To Assassinate Anti-Metal Revolutionaries In...
The War on Anti-Metal has begun. The opening salvo of a campaign to capture and kill members of PMRC (The People’s Metal Revolutionary Committee) started early this morning when Manowar launched drone...
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